Just a Mull...

After literally years of living in a fog God-wise, a bit of light begins to penetrate the pea soup of my consciousness. For literally years, I have not believed that God is a God of love. I mean, how could a loving father allow his own son to be brutally murdered? How could he allow my husband to be senselessly slain on I-17 November 16, 1980? A God of love? Yeah right. Spare me the love. At least, for the past many literal years, so has been my inclination. But not long ago, my very astute daughter, Krista, told me of a book she was reading. And this book, the Three Philosophies of Life by Peter Kreeft, has begun to make me challenge my own agnosticism...and is rocking my inner world. Let me quote a few things that have really struck me:

"...As soon as we are born, we begin to die. We are all equally bankrupt, some of us not yet declared: the small and arrogant oligarchy of the living, surrounded by the far more populous democracy of the dead....Underneath our temporary life-clothing, we are all death-naked. As an argument takes its point from its conclusion, so a story takes its point from its ending. If death is, as it seems to be, the final end, then life's story is vanity with a vengeance. The cosmos has been groaning in evolutionary travail with us, and we are only the cosmic abortion....time takes from us everything it gives us. It ravages the very stars." (pages 47, 48).
This is the portion of the book where he is dissecting the book of Ecclesiastes from whose vantage point, life is vanity.

He goes on (and this is where things start to get interesting, for me at least)..."As you do not know how the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything (Eccl 11:5). Is it possible to believe in God and still despair, still not know why you're living? Certainly.Solomon does. For his God is like the moon: there, but not here, controlling the tides of his life but not entering into any personal relationship with him, no face-to-face encounter as with Job. Solomon's God has no face. He is only Being, only AM, not I Am. for Solomon's epistemology is purely naturalistic, and nature is only God's back. But Scripture is God's mouth and Jesus is God's face. Ecclesiastes is a perfect  silhouette of Jesus, the stark outline of the darkness that the face of Jesus fills."

More than anything else, this book is giving me some extremely thought-provoking and concept challenging ideas to mull over. I am nearly finished with the 2nd part, the 2nd philosophy, that of Job and life as suffering. I will continue with insights from that tomorrow. It's time to muse.

Visit to Nashville

Madigan giving kisses (and vice versa)

a very milk-drunk Declan

Daddy reading Bundle's favorite book

Holding my one month old new grandson. Could I be more pleased?

These are the times that enrich and infuse a grandma's life with pure unadulterated joy! I was able to spend a week with these two awesome little boys. How precious the moments. Eryn, even though often sleep-deprived, is the most patient and innovative of mothers. I marvel at her creative solutions to everyday emergencies and the way she so placidly carries on with all that home-making, goat-keeping, child-raising, husband-nurturing entails and always with such an incredible sense of humor. God most definitely gave these children the right mother. I think she is quite perfect for them.

One of the most delightful events of each day is when Kris or Virginia give Bundle a time to dance...he is perched on top of their shoulders and up and down, back and forth, round and round they go to the sounds of Matt Carney or Vivaldi or whatever strikes their fancy. Madigan is totally stone faced for the most part, NEVER holding on, hands free at all times, letting a smile escape only with a fast twirl or quick drop down. He is very funny...and VERY serious. When he wants to dance, he turns around and backs into his daddy. So cute. He also loves to move to the beat of whatever music is  being played on the piano, usually something in the Suzuki repertoire. He doesn't know it yet, but I got him a miniature REAL guitar for Christmas. We found it at Once Upon a Child for $20.00. Can't wait for him to see it.

Declan is a most delightful baby. He only cries if hungry or uncomfortable (wet or poopy diaper, being mauled by his over zealous big brother, etc.). The milk-drunk demeanor is quite the norm as he seems to be eating incessantly. He is also quite the little scrootcher, even in sleep, and not a silent scrootcher either. That's why Eryn has such a hard time getting any period of sustained rest for he is in nearly constant motion (oh wow, where did we hear of such a thing before?). He has very dark complexion...SO different from anyone else in the immediate family. I think it must be from my mother, who was a bit Cherokee and had very olive complexion. His eyes are a very deep dark blue and he is very intentionally smiling already. He was even interacting with the happy faces of Kristen and her bride's maids in a photo up on the shelf. What a hoot!